Family Ties

Some years back, when my husband and I became interested in genealogy and began tracing our family histories, I was amazed at how little my parents knew about their own families. They couldn’t remember names of aunts or uncles. They knew little about their grandparents. And, there were certain “black sheep” about whom they knew next to nothing.

Now, here I am, writing my mother’s obituary, and without my genealogy notes, I have trouble recalling my grandparents’ real names! Is it my aging brain or aging-brain-under- extraordinary-stress that causes such a lapse? Whatever it is, it helps explain why family history research can be so frustrating. A stressed out daughter gets a name wrong in the obituary and future generations wonder whether their ancestor was married twice, or if that wife was really named Millie, Mildred, or Millicent.

I regret that my extended family has become so disconnected over the years. I’ve lost touch with cousins I was close to growing up. My mother had even lost touch with her brother and didn’t find out about his death until some months afterward. I made the effort, before Momma died, to tap into her cousin network. Though they were sorry to hear about Mom’s condition, they were delighted to reconnect with us, to pray with us, and to spread the news to other cousins. From these connections I learned about other cousins who had died as well as new cousins (grandbabies) born.

I won’t be disconnected again, I promise myself. I’ll update my address book and at least send Christmas letters to the cousins, I vow. And before I lose my mind completely, I’ll update my family history files so that my kids and grandkids can find our cousins for important family announcements, including my own passing.

And perhaps while I’m still healthy, active, and mobile, I’ll organize a grand reunion to get reacquainted with the cousins. It seems such a shame to let those old relationships simply die of neglect.

Sue