"I won't sign"

Just because my 84-year-old father with Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, and paranoia won’t sign the papers making me and my sister his agents for healthcare and financial affairs, does that mean he has completely lost it? Is there some edge of reason in that degenerated brain of his where his doubts can be addressed, where he can be reassured and then make the right decision?

Or has the time come to let the court decide that he is incompetent to handle his affairs and needs a guardian? I don’t want to take that route if I can possibly avoid it. How can I appear to be his adversary one minute (if that’s how he views it), taking control that he fears giving up, and the next minute change his clothes and tuck him into bed with a good night kiss?

I sit across the table from him as he stares at the same page of the document for an hour. He seems to want to say something and I wait. As I watch him I pray, “God, please give him clarity, understanding, and the ability to communicate his thoughts and concerns for at least a little longer…”

It’s not working, God. I don’t know what your plan is, but it’s apparently not on my timetable. I’m feeling frustrated and angry. God, please give me an extra measure of patience and compassion this week.

Sue