Why must we wait until someone is dead to celebrate their life? I’ve attended so many memorial services that were filled with funny stories and joyful remembrances, and often someone will say, “If only Aunt Ethel could hear these memories of her life…”
Why not let my dear mother in on some of the fun? We learned this week, during a three-day visit to the hospital, that Mom’s cancer is not only back, but it’s spreading aggressively. It’s already putting pressure on her trachea. There are lesions in her lungs. And the tumor seems to want to wrap itself around her carotid artery. Her life is now measured in weeks.
I believe Mom knew bad news was coming. Sis and I were prepared, too. But to uncover that huge elephant and see it plain as day was still a shock. The three of us cried and held each other and just wallowed in our mucky sadness for a little while. Sis and I assured Mom that we would surround her with love and make sure she was never in pain. It didn’t take Mom long to stop crying and ask, “OK, so what’s the plan?”
We’re still exploring our hospice options, the tangled web of Medicare, and other logistical questions, but we’re committed to making sure that Mom’s last weeks and days are filled with love and as many laughs as we can muster.
I’ve invited friends and family to write notes with some wonderful or funny memories about an experience with Mom. Why wait for the memorial service? That, of course, made me start thinking of my own stories. It’s not easy. Maybe it’s my own aging brain, but the experiences over the years are blurred into one big, happy mess and I’m having trouble pulling out incidents, much less the details, that made them special or funny.
But, that’s my job for the next… however long. At least one story a day.
Sue
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