Vulnerability

When my kids were little I felt extremely vulnerable because they were so vulnerable and needed me so much. I was a nervous wreck if I had to fly for a business trip. I always worried about how my family would cope if anything were to happen to me.

Then, when the kids were older and off at college, I felt free again. If anything happened to me I was sure they would be able to handle it and would continue to thrive. And though I'm not ready to leave this world, I'm not afraid.

Now, with my parents in such a vulnerable situation, I worry about my own vulnerability again. And Atlanta traffic is a lot more dangerous than flying! I am trying to be especially careful and I pray that God will protect me – at least through this caregiving time.

This morning Dad asked me what kind of surgery Mom is having. I explained it. Mom had him feel the lump under her jaw. And we talked about how many days away the operation is, how we'll all go to the hospital and stay there until she comes out of surgery. I asked him if he trusts me to take care of him while Mom is in the hospital for a week. He said, "yes," but I'm afraid it will be difficult for him. No matter how much I'll try to do things just the way Mom does, it won't be perfect. And Dad is a perfectionist. This will be a time for grace and forgiveness for everyone.

Gorgeous day! I'm going walking.

Sue