Since I don't do drugs, I go to Curves for my dose of endorphins. Today I'll need all the happy I can get. And today, the music of choice at Curves was country, not a genre I've listened to in many years. "I'm in love with you but I don't know your name...I'm married to you but I don't know your name..." It takes me back to courtship and early marriage with the wild and crazy man I married...happy memories. It also brings me right back to current reality, in which my Dad sometimes can't remember his own name, let alone Mom's.
I worked out extra hard today. I was still dancing to the music as I changed clothes in the dressing room, where, unfortunately, they have large mirrors. What a sight! Without a mirror, I could imagine myself 28 again, in a dirty dancing preamble to love making. What a difference a mirror makes! No wonder my sons say, "No, Mom, please don't..." if I try to dance in public.
I'll keep my mirrorless memories of myself at 28 and to hell with reality, thank you very much.
The reality I must deal with today is a meeting with the medical team to discuss options for Mom.
Sue
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