Family Traits

Oh my God, I’m becoming my parents! My parents have wonderful traits I’m proud to inherit or emulate, but please, dear God, spare me the family stoop!

My father at age 84 has a severely stooped profile, as did his father and one of his sisters. I’m sure arthritis plays a part, and, in my father’s case, Parkinsons is a factor; his nervous system doesn’t communicate well with his muscles. One would think it would be less painful to stand up straight than to be bent in half, but that thought is meaningless in the reality of muscles that have become as accustomed to the bent position as a paperclip.

Yesterday, as I was walking slowly down the hallway beside my father, I realized that I was walking with my head hanging down between my shoulders, eyes aimed directly at my feet. There’s just no reason on a carpeted hallway to pay such close attention to each step, I thought with a start. I quickly straightened my back and neck, shoulders back, eyes straight ahead.

My father also lists to the left. At the dinner table he places his elbows on the chair arms, but as he leans farther and farther to the left, his elbow slips off the chair and his chin nearly hits the table. Last night, as I was watching him finish dinner, I realized that I was slumped over to the right - the mirror image of my father. I jerked myself upright and then gave Dad the discrete sign language we've developed that means "straighten up." Neither arthritis nor Parkinsons can excuse my sloppy posture. But if I don’t watch out, I too will be stooped at or before age 84.

Then, there’s my mother’s involuntary vocalization each and every time she exhales. Usually a “hmmm” sound, but with occasional groan-like variations. I suspect this is related to her chronic lung problems, an ailment I do not share. Yet, when I’m around her for very long, I catch myself making similar involuntary sounds.

Mindfulness is the first step toward correction. This week, mindful is my mantra.

Sue