Food

Dad and I have been going to the hospital in the afternoons. Sometimes we don't get back in time to go to the dining room at his facility. Sometimes I don't have much here that I can cook quickly, other than eggs or sandwiches. So we've had some pretty basic meals this week. One night it was fruit shakes (with protein powder) and peanut butter and banana on toast...yum.

Yesterday I promised we'd go to the hospital a bit earlier so that we could get home in time for a three-course dinner in the dining room. In the car we talked about our favorite things on the standard menu (I wanted to prep him to be able to make his ordering decision more quickly.). We talked about meatloaf, cat fish, and salmon, with side dishes of french fries, sweet potato, or green beans.

When we got to the dining room and looked at the menu before ordering, the special of the day - seafood ravioli - caught Dad's eye and he said that's what he wanted. That sounded good to me, too. The waiter took our order and Dad clearly said "seafood ravioli," but when the meal was served, Dad looked at it in shocked disappointment. "What's this? I didn't order this," he said.

Perhaps I should have known he was confused. Maybe I should have questioned when he said "seafood ravioli." Maybe I should have reminded him of the meatloaf, catfish, or salmon. I felt so badly that after looking forward to the first nice dinner in days, he was disappointed.

Dessert, of course, was cheese cake. Can't go wrong there. But the waiter misinterpreted my trying to help Dad order and brought me cheese cake too. Oh well, might as well eat it, I thought....One dessert in five weeks won't kill me or cancel out my weight loss. But afterwards, I was so stuffed I felt sick.

It's terrible to complain about these minor food disappointments when my mother is being fed through a tube. Not to mention all those who are going hungry in our own back yards and abroad. What we eat, as well as our attitudes about it, is a matter of habit. Today I will be more mindful.